Thursday, September 18, 2008

Motherhood and... (shhh. don't tell anyone)... ME!

This Tuesday we had a guest speaker at MOPS; Kate Harris. She was wonderful. She put into words (quite eloquent words, I might add) how I was feeling about the inner struggle that exists when your vocation is Motherhood. Please! Set aside some time, when you have a few moments to absorb her words, and come back to this post to click on this link to an article that she wrote, entitled "Motherhood as Vocation". It resonates!!!
I have shared a few of my thoughts on mommy-ing, and it is easy to see that I struggle, from time to time, just like most stay-at-home moms. To be honest, I have only a few people in my life that can even understand where I am on my journey right now. So, there are not too many peeps I can bounce my thoughts off of. I suppose that is true for most of us. So, it has helped me to blog my heart....

Here are some of my thoughts on the topic:

from this post,"Works for Me":

I am telling you, for those of you who are not mommies, this job is NOT for wimps. I have to give an extra special shout-out of encouragement to those mommas who are doing the full-time mommy job of staying home with your children. I cannot tell a lie: I think stay-at-home moms (also known as never-at-home-mostly-in-the-car moms) ROCK. I think they are women with more guts than brains (haha, just kidding. I do wonder what I am thinking sometimes... it seems as though going to work would be a lot easier). I also think they are CHANGING THE WORLD, one tiring day at a time!!!!!!
from this post,"Dangerous Surrender (Chapter 2)":

I had my 6 month old baby boy (Christian) in one arm, and Kay's compelling book in the other. As I read about leaving my comfort zone and surrendering to God and dropping everything, Christian puked all over my brand new book!! God said to me, in that moment: "Whoaaaaa, girl. Your time is coming... sweet daughter. For now: wipe up the puke!!!"So..... I guess God got very precise in telling me what my current purpose is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from this post,"Just plain-old Surrendered":

Truth be told, I keep hearing God tell me to stay put. To surrender to the current task of dying-daily to self. Dying-daily to my husband. Dying-daily to my babies. This is where I am for a while...and not only that, I don't want to forsake being here!! I KNOW that God wants me out of my comfort zone, but I believe He wants my children IN this comfort zone for a while. Not teaching them that STUFF is where it is at, but just taking care of them and protecting them while they are babies, and pouring myself into THEM.
And, especially relevant to this current post, one from this post,"Closet Artist":

I am sharing this post because my [creative] ideas are about to
drive me crazy. I have so many of them. But I just don't have the time and/or money and/or motivation to create. This has become more of an issue since this is the first time in my life that I do not have a constant creative outlet. Sometimes I feel like I am busting at the seams to create - but I am JUST TOO TIRED. Anyone hearing me on this one?? Part of being a mommy to little little ones, maybe.
Sooooo. All of this to say....
After hearing Kate Harris speak, and pondering the thoughts of "planting seeds" of purpose, in order to sustain my own giftedness (which is from God in the first place, and to be used to His glory!)...

I planted a seed for me:

The "little room," Before.


Our home has been under renovation for the past 2 years. We are finally at a pause (we will never be DONE!). This room is on the 3rd floor of our 1850's farmhouse. It is teeny-tiny, super cute, and is one of my favorite rooms in the house. Until last night, it was essentially filled with construction trash, HVAC trash, dusty baby toys, and, um, DUST! The "before" pics that you see above are actually a bit kinder than what I started with last night (with the exception of the refinished soft-pine floors. We did that a month after closing). So, basically, this room sat empty.

Why??

Well, I struggle with perfectionism. Not always the good kind. Often, the parylizing kind. If I can't do it perfectly... I don't do it at all. Hence, the many unpainted, uncleaned, empty rooms in my home. I know. I know. Just being honest, folks.

But!! To HECK with it all!!!!! I need a place to myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May I introduce:

My art studio

complete with a bible study corner!!! I love that ratty, ugly chair. It is sooo comfy. Can't afford to recover. Hate most slipcovers (forgive me, slipcover fans!!). I am so excited about this!!!!!!! Check out the basket, for bible, books, studies, and tissues (of course). Coffee will finally get all the respect it deserves, on the cute table that was 'hold-up' in my basement.

Oh, and one more thing....

No precious, adorable, cuter-than-pie, sweet-smelling, lovable, darling children allowed.

8 friends had a thing or two to say...:

Jackie said...

Hi Darlene, I am Christine's Sis-in-Law. You are such a precious soul! You are totally on the right track with all of the loving, surrendering, exhausted thoughts about Mommyhood. I just thought I'd say that cause we always second guess ourselves, don't we?! I am at a different stage now with older kids at home, but I can tell you that sleep deprivation was my enemy for a few blurry years when the kidos were young. But you (and I) will NEVER regret all the love you are pouring into your sweet children and husband as you die to yourself. It will all come back to you 100 fold. Keep up the great work, MOMMY. And I absolutely love your ME space. Isn't God so good to inspire you and provide this sweet space?! God bless you, Jackie

Christine said...

I love this room Darlene! What a beautiful little get away for you,,,and I can't wait to see the art work come out of this room in the future! My youngest children are the twins (18 years old) and boy has time gone by way to fast! I know that tired feeling you are talking about and that desperate grasp at the littlest quiet time alone. Take care of you and hang on to every precious moment with your sweet kids! I have so enjoyed every season of my family, yet I honestly can't believe how fast it has all gone by me. You did a great job here...thanks once again for sharing! Hugss and God Bless, Christine =O)

Holly said...

love the room--it is beautiful. i have a room to myself also--it's called Panera bread :) i try to go there once every 1-2 weeks to just be by myself and study the word alone!! great thoughts on mothering. what an awesome responsibility we have as mothers.

Lelia Chealey said...

Oh my goodness!!!! HOW Beautiful! I am in the midst of creating a space for my husband & I but it won't be as neat as a 3rd floor getaway in a an old pretty farmhouse. Oh, those floors and I LOVE your chair and basket. I just found my husband a chair that is so comfy...$10. at a garage sale and it's an old time Lazy-Boy recliner, but the fabric is so cool.
Oh, I love your area!! Enjoy God in it!
Thrilled you'll be joining in on the Tuesday study! Can't wait to see what God is up to!
Blessings,
Lelia

Tessa said...

Darlene ... I absolutely love it! We also have a really cool 3rd floor room that is basically unused. I even like the way it is decorated .. it just is one of thoes things that I don't take advantage of! I can't wait to see some of your artwork also!

Wife to the Rockstar said...

I love your new room!!!

Paula said...

My heart is fluttering at the moment at the sight of your lovely room, and your Bible study corner! I am due to purchase a 2 seater pull out sofa bed for what my daughter and I affectionately refer to as the "blue room", as all the walls are blue. So...after seeing your photos, I think I shall set up a gorgeous little Bible study corner for myself, rescue my big cane basket from my daughters room to put ALL my books and Bibles in and sit back and relax and enjoy God there!

BTW...I came across your page via Lelia's as I'm doing Yes To God also. I'm waiting with baited breath to post my first entry on chapter one, and I can't wait to read some other posts also.

You face radiates God's love and I am so pleased that I happened upon your page. I am inspired by the fact that you put it out there about your creative ideas that you can't get started due to motherhood. I am the same in that I want to do EVERYTHING, but can't!

Anyway, I look forward to checking out more of your blog! Love In Him, Paula :-)

Flamingo Mama said...

ok. now i know where i am sneaking to when i visit!

love it!!