This is the seventh week of the online bible study, Yes to God; studying the book "Behind Those Eyes," by Lisa Whittle. If you are not yet doing the study, and want to join in, click here. Even so, if you have ever spent even a moment doubting God's love for you... read on....
About chapter eight...I do not feel as though I have much to offer. I don't have much to give or to share. No wisdom to offer. And it is NOT because I did not like it. On the contrary. I loved it. And I needed to hear every last word.
It is just that I am still knee-deep in "the classroom" on the topic of being Completely Loved by God, and being Accepted Completely. God is working on me, and He has been working on me. God continues to try to press His message of Love deeper and deeper into my marrow... and often it just stays stuck in my head. The many reasons why I don't seem to "get it" are complex and full of personal history. And I suspect that I am not the only one who feels this way.
I guess the best way I can explain it is this: I know of His Love. I believe that it is so. I choose to trust in Him, and I know that every word He says is true. That is enough, because I know that feelings come and go. But truth be told (we are still doing that whole truth thing - right??), in the pit of my heart, it is just rare that I actually do FEEL His love, to my marrow.
But do not fear, friends. He is working on me. He IS showing me. We have been working on this one together for a long time. In fact, it was about a year ago now that God commanded me to pay very specific attention to ANYTHING in His Word about His Love for me. And that I was to dwell on those Words. Chew on them. Let them seep into my bones. And His Words are, as promised, living healing water for my soul.
And here He is, using Lisa, and pointing me to His Love again. And I am listening. And I am learning. And I am trusting. And, by His enabling grace, I choose to love and follow Him, every day...
One additional note: Lisa referenced Roger S. McGee's book Search for Significance. If you have ever struggled with worthiness, or feeling unloved, (um. who hasn't?), this book/workbook will bless you. It was life changing for me. And truth be told, I should probably read it once a year! The following near-famous quote is taken from that book:
"MY IDENTITY IN CHRIST
Because of Christ's redemption
I am a new creation of infinite worth
I am deeply loved,
I am completely forgiven,
I am fully pleasing.
I am totally accepted by God
I am absolutely complete in Christ.
When my performance
reflects my new identity in Christ,
that reflection is dynamically unique.
There has never been another person like me
in the history of mankind
nor will there ever be.
God has made me an original
one of a kind, really somebody"
I am a new creation of infinite worth
I am deeply loved,
I am completely forgiven,
I am fully pleasing.
I am totally accepted by God
I am absolutely complete in Christ.
When my performance
reflects my new identity in Christ,
that reflection is dynamically unique.
There has never been another person like me
in the history of mankind
nor will there ever be.
God has made me an original
one of a kind, really somebody"
By Robert S. McGee in the book titled Search for Significance
13 friends had a thing or two to say...:
For me to wake up to the truth that I was created for more than this world offered, great change took over my life. When I became honest about the places my soul ached to be filled I then came to a place where God could tenderly reach in and touch the deepest part of my heart. Honesty with ourselves along with God is what opens those flood gates wide open. Thank you so much for sharing this weekly study! It has truly got my mind dwelling on Him,...and I can't think of a better thing to dwell on! =O)
Darlene,
I loved your words on this post...yes, we are still doing that "truth" thing! This is a toughie for me too sometimes. I think it is a journey. I have seasons where I feel His love like a blanket wrapped around me, and others where I feel like a sheet hung out to dry--blowing in the breeze. How wonderful that He had given you the assignment to Look for His love...He knows what you will find!
You bless me with your sweet honesty today.
Hugs,
Laura
I sometime wonder how God could love any of us but the truth is He does!
I,too have to remind myself that He loves me even when I don't feel it.
girl you inspire me with doing 2 bible studies! i won't even tell you which day i am on for beth moore. sigh.
I love this post Darlene!
We have so much in common. Maybe not the 'why' or 'how' we came to this place but definately that we came to this place. The place of knowing God loves but not feeling it to the depth of our marrow.
I am on the brink and I know it will be glorious just as soon as I let go of the fear.
You are doing well and I am blessed by your words.
Cindy
Hi Darlene
Thank you for your honesty, how you are still knee-deep in the class room on the topic.
I know that I too have to only the head knowledge of it. Then it's the reminders that come and suddenly his love just grips my heart.
I'm so glad to be a part of this study with you.
Carol:)
Oh and I forgot to tell you how much I love that portrait of forgivness. Thanks for posting that.
Carol
Darlene-
Wonderful post! :)
I also wanted to tell you THANK YOU so much for your beautiful comment on my post the other day. I truly appreciate your insight into your sweet Caleb's name... and you doing the same with our Faith Clare.
Thank you so much! God's tremendous blessings on your family!
Kenzie
I think if we are all honest we've felt as though we can't "feel" His love. I know in the past 16 months I've found myself many times wondering where He is in my life...why He's not working or doing anything. That could easily be summed up to me not "feeling" His love. If I don't feel His presence working, I don't feel His love. I know it's there. I know He's there.
Do not be discouraged because you don't feel His love but know of it. He's growing you, stretching you, teaching you, and showing you. The road with Jesus is a long one with many curves and dips. Many stages and phases.
Sweet blessings,
Paula
Darlene...
This was eloquent and wonderful writing -- but what means more to me than that is that I felt it...I felt that the words you wrote came from a deep place in your heart. And then I see your outward beauty in your picture...and yet I see a much greater inward beauty in the truth of this post. Thank you for being real and honest to say what many of us as women struggle with. You're right -- we know it, but yet I don't think we can dwell on it enough. It is the core of everything else we do. It drives our decision making in life, either way. And so...we simply MUST own it. We just HAVE TO. How our lives would change and souls would sing if we did!
Praying for that love to envelope you on your journey, Darlene... even today.
Lisa :)
Darlene I loved this post!!! You are so real girlfriend, I just love my visits here.
I loved how you shared how you & God are working together. So sweet.
Thanks for your encouragement on my current post. I'm glad you "got" the reason of my post. And yes, you may link it if you want to.
Keep writing...you are so gifted by God.
Love ya!
Lelia
Hey, friend! I loved your comment on my blog! We ARE in the same neighborhood. Scary. I'll be back to poke around some more. I confess my blog reading and writing is waning some in year 2. Yours is lovely, though.
Darlene,
It is such a day to day, situation by situation realization of how much God loves us isn't it?? And it totally is a choice we have to make because satan is just waiting to put doubts in our heads at all times!!
I love this poem and the picture!!
blessings,
Kim
**I have left you an award at my blog if you have time. It was fun to write down 10 things that make me happy.
Post a Comment